“I am allowed to name my truth, my experiences and how they have affected me. And those who have harmed me don’t get a say in how I heal, how I move on, how I voice my pain, and if me being real, honest about the harm done to me challenges you – that is on you, not on me. I will not apologize for the ways I have healed the wounds others have caused me.”

“Those things that kept you safe as a kid are going to destroy your adulthood. They don’t work anymore.”
- Dr. John Delony 

“Dear Little Michelle,

You are going to make it. That stubbornness and drive is the perseverance that will set you apart. You are going to not just survive but thrive, even though all odds say you won’t. I know none of this makes sense now, and that is okay, just keep fighting.”

Goodbyes can come in so many different ways but I am choosing to believe that with every ‘goodbye’ comes healing, growth, redirection, realignment and new ‘hellos’ waiting to happen. 

Ever wonder the best way to support a someone after they go through trauma? Here is how you!

As someone who’s life motto is ‘survivor not victim’ I am fed up with people misusing the word - victim. Victim in itself is not a bad word. The word “victim” is simply a noun, a person or thing who has been victimized to subjugation, mistreatment, or even life threatening events. And you know what there are times I have been a victim in my life - I wouldn’t have been burned if I wasn’t! And microaggressions and these responses to microaggressions are a - mistreatment. Yet I have chosen to become and be a survivor.

“I will not minimize myself for you to be comfortable.”

“I couldn't heal because i kept pretending i wasn't hurt”

It’s like my body and mind are telling me “your story isn’t finished yet, you need to see and feel this now.”

Having Eli’s support is what has allowed me to get back to my life again! Please support service dogs when you see them out working (or training) and spread awareness.

“You are enough just the way you are. You are perfect just the way you are. You are worthy of peace. You are worthy of love, worthy of a wonderful life. Worthy of a life of thrivership. Worthy to achieve and be all the things that you want to be, not because you need to prove yourself, but because you can and want to. Be gentle and kind with yourself, be in charge of your own life, trust yourself and surround yourself with people who see your value and worth.”

Here is what I would tell my younger self.

It is okay for the pain in your life to affect you, being strong doesn’t mean ignoring that the pain exists all together.

“We need to eliminate this victim blaming culture and instead create a culture of education and awareness of consent, what boundaries are and how to respect them, listening to others stories without judgement and not minimize their trauma or experiences. This is how we support others as survivors and give survivors a voice and be able to change.”

Masks can trigger unsettling emotions as we are not able to distinguish facial expressions to help us calm our nervous system and often trauma occurs when we are unable to see someone’s face.

Reframe the question to reflect your self-worth and self-love. What matters is not what they think of your physical appearance or your past. What matters is how they make you feel about yourself and how they fit into your life and values.

Happiness, strength, independence, love, and a sense of self is not something you can wait or search for, it is something we create for ourselves.

Often people think of the immediate pain, and challenges following a burn injury. They may think of the long hospital stay, skin grafting, surgeries, and therapies - but they don’t think about the long term, lifelong effect a burn injury can have on someone. This year for Burn Awareness Week (February 3-9th, 2019), I want to spread awareness that a burn injury is a lifelong injury that requires extensive healing, and can even require lifelong healing. Please join me in helping spread burn awareness.